ever wonder?

I have been doing alot of thinking these days and you know what I realized I missed alot of things in my life that well either I lost due to moving around in the military or I just missed in general. So i compiled a list of what I miss or would love to have a second chance at.
1) A certain ritzy girl that currently resides in MD although our relationship was short I would say honestly with no hesistation that if you were to say that you wanted us to be together I would drop everything I have here right now and move to where you were with out one second thought and I honestly miss you a whole lot although you were a pain in my butt sometimes I truly loved ya alot and feel that to some extent you still hold a piece of my heart. (if you read this I really wish it doesn't make you run away)
2) growing up I miss the not being forced to grow up due to the fact that I was in a foreign country where 200 marines depended upon me to never let them down.
3) getting my college degree earlier enough said.
4) keeping the friends I lost
5) sleep although I consider it overrated still to this day I really do miss the days where I could control when I did and didn't sleep and just for one day I would love to not either be going to class then work, work, work then class, or just having 1000 other things to do.

I know it has been a while since i've posted but I gotta be honest I've been down in the dumps and haven't really felt like doing much of anything I must say i've become particularly lonely these days and I feel the only person to blame is me I've pushed everybody away that was important in my life and for that i'm truly sorry. I worked 40 hours a week so it's not like i don't have time for people I guess i'm just depressed is the best way I can put it. Well on this note I'm going to go find someting to do. Oh and in case I forgot I got me a new car well sorta new it's an 04 taurus SE I love it it rides nice is fully loaded and well gets alot better gas mileage than the good ol truck was getting so unfortunally I did have to get rid of the one thing in my life that has always been there through thick and thin. (nothing against friends just well it traveled the entire eastern seaboard with me so) I end this on one last note. I miss the feeling of happiness as i feel my soul slide further away from it.
Doc A signing off.