and another day passes.

Well I suppose I should keep you folks informed of the new coming of me. Well there isn't really anything new. I started my paramedic class last week and yea it's going good I suppose. I work you know crazy hours and to be quite frank I feel lost right now, or that I just want to scream. I don't know why but it just seems I can't focus on much of anything anymore have no interest in anything orther than work and going to class. I guess I just need a vacation or something I don't know but for now i'm off to go do something because I need to get out of my house.

and the blows just keep coming

You ever get that feeling that you just want to just curl up into a ball and die?? Well today would definitely be on of those days, I get done with work and get in my truck and blam hardly any brakes. Not a big deal but let us not forget that at work I had a little tussle with operations for about 30 mins about the fact that I was still coverage less for my paramedic class this evening. I think I finally have that issue solved. So I get my truck into the shop and find out yea the brakes are bad (no surpise) and then also find out that my wheel bearing on my driver's side yea it's also shot. FUCK! 500 dollars later (thanks dad) and yea definitely just in a quite depressed day wishing and normally i wouldn't say this often if at all anymore, wishing I had a g/f or somebody in my life that I could just get a hug from I really could use one sigh. Ah well move on i suppose take the blow to the gut and charge forward I don't have the time too many people depend on me to not stop to never falter to never slow down and I can't let them down. So for now I try to get some sleep. I will say by the way an excellent song I just listened to is green eyes-coldplay. Anywho
Doc A Signing off
Wishing I had a female shoulder to cuddle into (one last sigh for the day)

a year has come and gone.

Taking a look back at 2006 alot has come and gone. I've been through some times i'll be soon to never forget. I had better half which I left for what reasons I wish i could truly explain to anybody but well that is unfortunally now last years news. Anywho here I sit at hamlin volunteer ambulance, alone and bored out of my goard volunteering to keep watch on a town that has no idea i'm even here and although rewarding in ways for which most will never understand it's kind of depressing at the same time. I always revert back to asking myself am I really this much of a loser and inevitably the answer to that question seems to always lean towards yes. I truly think I will never know nor do I think i'll start trying to find the one thing right now that would calm me down a woman who could tolerate and deal with me and my craziness. On a different note to those of you out there doing what i was doing this time last year in iraq. Your not forgotten I always keep tabs as best as I can. Onto a different note the new plan of action for this year I guess you could say it's like a Chinese Communist 5 year plan so without further adue.
1) quit smoking this year(although it will take time I'm sure I will succeed in this at some point this year)
2) start my college career (23rd jan I will be starting paramedic class and i'm going to blow it out of the water) and that is the end of the story there.
3) start researching into the MD field see what it is I should study in before going to medical school to make myself more noticeable to the people who make the yay or ney decision of me getting in.
4)get a newer vehicle because well i can't keep affording my truck gas bill every week (ouchy)
5) find without doing any work what was zed mentioned about the woman issue up above.
6) write more frequently here on my good ol blogging site of the bloggingness.
7) establish myself in the workplace of monroe ambulance get the network required to make life easier.
8) starting march 1st colin goes back to gym everyday except prob sunday because well i gotta give the body one day of rest a week (some might wonder why wait till march because well that is when i will be eliable for healthcare benefits at work and in case I injure myself I want to be covered.)
9.) Save money first and foremost this should be #1 but of course well i know it will be hard with new car,college,food,work, and other expected expenses(video games,dates, etc....)
Well to conclude this evening I will end accordingly to all of you out there may you have a happy new years and may your year be happy and such and if its not well remember this you are the reaper of what you sow. On that note PEACE BITCHES!
Doc A (sorry it's just who i am)
Signing off.