a day of thought.

So here I sit recovering from a recent knee surgery (from being in the service) and yes to some i am the always to be made fun of or joked about and you know what you do that because well i guess it makes you a better person who's to know. But as I sit here on veteran's day 2007 I want to put out a bit of thanks to a couple of people who well weren't alive for me to thank in person, 1) my grandfather (for which my middle name comes from) Cpl. James Arthur 101st Airborne WW2, and 2) my uncle Sgt Louie Ramsey Unknown Unit U.S. Army Vietnam 1971, killed by Booby Trap 1971. I want to say thank you to both of you who although relative #1 didn't die in combat #2 did and for that i will just say thank you for making the ultimate sacrafice so that the ignorant people in this country can make fun of people. I did my time and yes I don't want a thank you cause well I made it back barely but I still made it back. You ask what do you mean barely well i will say look a this picture up top and I will say I was in this. SO i will end with this remember this give thanks to those who fight for your country before you ridicue them.

Signing off

Doc A

And to those who decide to say what they will because I left paramedic class, well I have this to say to you and you wonder why nobody wants to date you and your not very well liked by a lot of people because you are very ignorant and full of yourself and well I will hopefully not be there the day you kill somebody with your ignorance.

the birthday

So as most who care know I turned a year older recently aug 5th to be exact. It was a different one to say the least mainly because I was home in the US for the first time in five years, and either not in a foreign country, iraq, or flying to iraq. Well the better half said to me when i got home from work what do I want to do? I of course didn't know what to do except well go to bed. Well she aparently made some phone calls and such and got a hold of all my friends and went out and bought me an xbox 360 elite (which i still at this point haven't opened) and told them to meet us at tulley's so I called work and asked if it was cool if i didn't come in till 8 because i didn't have a partner. Well mr. bennetti being a nice guy as he decided well why don't you just come in at 10 instead so that was sweet. Christina finally gets me out the door and such we had to stall for a bit and we show up to the surprise of my buddy jesse, paul and britney(jesse's g/f) sitting there at tulley's well we had a good time and all was marry and such. I pretty much have to say it was by far the best b-day i've ever had and I also must throw in thanks mom for not even bothering to give me a call or anything! Anywho off i go I missed class today cause I over slept so blah to me not sleeping much. So i'll have to make that up but for now i'm outta here.
Doc A
Signing off

an interesting twist

So things as you can see haven't been to overly exciting out there I suppose, getting ready to move out of the current apt and into a new apt with the g/f for whom i love a whole heck of a lot, really to be honest can't even begin to put into words. Christina I'm glad that you walked into my life I really am you definitely make everyday worth waking up too as well as an adventure. Thank you.

I go home the other day on my normal Wednesday for squad night in good ol hamlin and i see there is a piece of mail from the navy, now my first thought is "oh boy here I go again off to iraq" but I was definitely wrong (it was in a large manila envelope) so i rip the top open and go hmmm that's an award cover thing. I open it up and am completely speechless, I had received a bronze star for my actions during my last tour in iraq a pleasant surprise I must say. So i include it here (above right)for those who wish to read the citation. On that note I suppose I'm going to sit here and enjoy the last hour of pure boredom on 9849 (couch on wheels) ambulance. Laters
doc A signing off

zero

zero? hmmm well i enjoy being a zero thanks :) so for whom ever left that comment thanks because it means that i'm the blunt end of all your jokes. Which apparently brings you much joy so please do continue your petty name calling. I'll still be here today and tomorrow regardless.
Doc A signing off

and to respond to the zed comment left on my previous rant

WELL WELL i think i know who wrote this and too you. Nice job I have tears flowing from my eyes from the laugh you just gave me and yea hamlin ambulance eh nice try with that. I'll say this in response because I have a feeling I know who this is. If you want to talk shit come to my face because last i checked neither shawn nor rob got laid and that comes straight from the "herpes" girl's (who by the way is absolutely fucking amazing, and if you only knew what you didn't have that she does, and she does have a name too but i'll keep that out for her sake) mouth who by the way doesn't have herpes were 100% sure of that also i want to know can I get "pancakes" with that. BUT needless to say why don't you grow the fuck up and lose oh i'd say about 100 lbs and take that hidious piece of fucking bulldog jewlery out of your ass for a face. Oh i must also say that i really hope that the other 75 employee's you've supposely slept with gave you herpes because sex for a night is great but last i checked herpes lasts a lifetime. AIN'T THAT BUTTA BITCH! and if it isn't this zed person i think it is well i don't feel sorry because well i hope you stop breeding because we have enough ugly and fucking stupid people in society. IF HOWEVER it is somebody else who "thinks there in hamlin" i'm glad to hear that you have fallen into the level that my 3 year old cousin is at, because well it creates for some good comic level for me and I really (i mean it) honestly appeciate your childish comment.

stupid fucks

So I work last night Monday the 14^th of May and I find out from a co-worker that supposedly that I quote unquote have a white supremacy website, although quite ridiculously comical is very not true. If you understood what this site was about then you would maybe know what it is really about. It’s a blog site with a funny ploy on communism (which by the way is a joke between my brother and I) nothing serious. So unfortunally I have to undo the damage that you fucks have done. SO here I sit with a list of what needs to be said.

1) NO I DON’T I REPEAT DON’T HAVE A WHITE SUPREMACY WEBSITE!!!!!

If you can’t understand that then you need to realize that this site is where I can express my feelings and expressions because last I Checked I lived in the United States that has a freedom of expression. ( 1^st amendment)

2) I love the fact that you folks involved are so immature that you have to start a rumor mill based on something that apparently you haven’t read into. Also let us not forget that you probably are very insecure with yourself so you feel the need to lash out on somebody else because of your insecurities. (truth hurts huh??)

3) If you hate me because “ you think that I have a site about blah blah blah” why is it that you don’t approach me instead of being a moron and whispering to your buddies.

4) So I exit with this note. If you don’t like me go fuck yourself because I didn’t come to Monroe to make friends I came there for a job and to help out people. Secondly how bout you people involved in this rumor mill how bout you grow the fuck up and stop being a 12 year old child because last I checked were all adults. Although here I could be assuming that people know how to take civil ways to talk to each other instead of just backstabbing somebody.

5) so I lied I must end on this note, I appreciate the good laugh that you have given me with your childish little games, and also if you feel the need to talk about this go right ahead because I know I’m not going to lose any sleep at all and I will still probably be the same person I was today, tomorrow.

On that note,

Doc A signing off.

P.S. also feel free to comment because this should be comical.

ever wonder?

I have been doing alot of thinking these days and you know what I realized I missed alot of things in my life that well either I lost due to moving around in the military or I just missed in general. So i compiled a list of what I miss or would love to have a second chance at.
1) A certain ritzy girl that currently resides in MD although our relationship was short I would say honestly with no hesistation that if you were to say that you wanted us to be together I would drop everything I have here right now and move to where you were with out one second thought and I honestly miss you a whole lot although you were a pain in my butt sometimes I truly loved ya alot and feel that to some extent you still hold a piece of my heart. (if you read this I really wish it doesn't make you run away)
2) growing up I miss the not being forced to grow up due to the fact that I was in a foreign country where 200 marines depended upon me to never let them down.
3) getting my college degree earlier enough said.
4) keeping the friends I lost
5) sleep although I consider it overrated still to this day I really do miss the days where I could control when I did and didn't sleep and just for one day I would love to not either be going to class then work, work, work then class, or just having 1000 other things to do.

I know it has been a while since i've posted but I gotta be honest I've been down in the dumps and haven't really felt like doing much of anything I must say i've become particularly lonely these days and I feel the only person to blame is me I've pushed everybody away that was important in my life and for that i'm truly sorry. I worked 40 hours a week so it's not like i don't have time for people I guess i'm just depressed is the best way I can put it. Well on this note I'm going to go find someting to do. Oh and in case I forgot I got me a new car well sorta new it's an 04 taurus SE I love it it rides nice is fully loaded and well gets alot better gas mileage than the good ol truck was getting so unfortunally I did have to get rid of the one thing in my life that has always been there through thick and thin. (nothing against friends just well it traveled the entire eastern seaboard with me so) I end this on one last note. I miss the feeling of happiness as i feel my soul slide further away from it.
Doc A signing off.

blah

So here I sit on the ambulance again at werk. Sigh I do live such a pathetic life I realized, I take care of people that don't even care/realize i even exist I go day to day in a whisp like the wind hardly noticed (not that i really want to be overly noticed). I guess I miss a few things hearing I love you from somebody besides the rents, having my own place. Having somebody smile because of my actions not because they have too but because they choose too. I really truly miss those days. And i will end it on that note I desire to want a g/f now and that settles that. I'm off to go wander the 1,000,000 miles of internet land.
Doc A signing off.

and another day passes.

Well I suppose I should keep you folks informed of the new coming of me. Well there isn't really anything new. I started my paramedic class last week and yea it's going good I suppose. I work you know crazy hours and to be quite frank I feel lost right now, or that I just want to scream. I don't know why but it just seems I can't focus on much of anything anymore have no interest in anything orther than work and going to class. I guess I just need a vacation or something I don't know but for now i'm off to go do something because I need to get out of my house.

and the blows just keep coming

You ever get that feeling that you just want to just curl up into a ball and die?? Well today would definitely be on of those days, I get done with work and get in my truck and blam hardly any brakes. Not a big deal but let us not forget that at work I had a little tussle with operations for about 30 mins about the fact that I was still coverage less for my paramedic class this evening. I think I finally have that issue solved. So I get my truck into the shop and find out yea the brakes are bad (no surpise) and then also find out that my wheel bearing on my driver's side yea it's also shot. FUCK! 500 dollars later (thanks dad) and yea definitely just in a quite depressed day wishing and normally i wouldn't say this often if at all anymore, wishing I had a g/f or somebody in my life that I could just get a hug from I really could use one sigh. Ah well move on i suppose take the blow to the gut and charge forward I don't have the time too many people depend on me to not stop to never falter to never slow down and I can't let them down. So for now I try to get some sleep. I will say by the way an excellent song I just listened to is green eyes-coldplay. Anywho
Doc A Signing off
Wishing I had a female shoulder to cuddle into (one last sigh for the day)

a year has come and gone.

Taking a look back at 2006 alot has come and gone. I've been through some times i'll be soon to never forget. I had better half which I left for what reasons I wish i could truly explain to anybody but well that is unfortunally now last years news. Anywho here I sit at hamlin volunteer ambulance, alone and bored out of my goard volunteering to keep watch on a town that has no idea i'm even here and although rewarding in ways for which most will never understand it's kind of depressing at the same time. I always revert back to asking myself am I really this much of a loser and inevitably the answer to that question seems to always lean towards yes. I truly think I will never know nor do I think i'll start trying to find the one thing right now that would calm me down a woman who could tolerate and deal with me and my craziness. On a different note to those of you out there doing what i was doing this time last year in iraq. Your not forgotten I always keep tabs as best as I can. Onto a different note the new plan of action for this year I guess you could say it's like a Chinese Communist 5 year plan so without further adue.
1) quit smoking this year(although it will take time I'm sure I will succeed in this at some point this year)
2) start my college career (23rd jan I will be starting paramedic class and i'm going to blow it out of the water) and that is the end of the story there.
3) start researching into the MD field see what it is I should study in before going to medical school to make myself more noticeable to the people who make the yay or ney decision of me getting in.
4)get a newer vehicle because well i can't keep affording my truck gas bill every week (ouchy)
5) find without doing any work what was zed mentioned about the woman issue up above.
6) write more frequently here on my good ol blogging site of the bloggingness.
7) establish myself in the workplace of monroe ambulance get the network required to make life easier.
8) starting march 1st colin goes back to gym everyday except prob sunday because well i gotta give the body one day of rest a week (some might wonder why wait till march because well that is when i will be eliable for healthcare benefits at work and in case I injure myself I want to be covered.)
9.) Save money first and foremost this should be #1 but of course well i know it will be hard with new car,college,food,work, and other expected expenses(video games,dates, etc....)
Well to conclude this evening I will end accordingly to all of you out there may you have a happy new years and may your year be happy and such and if its not well remember this you are the reaper of what you sow. On that note PEACE BITCHES!
Doc A (sorry it's just who i am)
Signing off.